


The Sign of Three

by Thelexicographer



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Drabble, Gen, have you ever accidentally written a fanfic?, kinda political?, not really - Freeform, then forgotten about it?, warning: upsetting croissant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:15:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27549721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thelexicographer/pseuds/Thelexicographer
Summary: A drabble set in the Good Omens universe.Béchamel the disposable demon gets his moment to shine as a project manager....There's probably a reason why he never had a moment before.
Kudos: 5





	The Sign of Three

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah...I wrote this back in 2017 and forgot about it. I'm not convinced it was even intended as fanfic. 
> 
> All I remember is that I was drunk, tried to remember the name for Beezelbub, ended up saying 'Béchamel' and I found it funny so I wrote this.
> 
> Anyway, goodness knows this piece of nonsense isn't going to find a home anywhere else so I'm going to inflict it on you lot. Enjoy! x
> 
> Enjoy!

The Sign of Three

Nobody saw the signs, because frankly, the signs were pretty hard to connect. At the time they had made the Devil look at the demon Béchamel (because Beelzebub was on holiday) and say ‘are you sure that’s what you’re going for here?’

To which Béchamel responded with a falsely jovial

‘Yeah boss, don’t you worry. Ol’ Béchamel will sort it.’ He had never in his life called himself ‘ol’ Béchamel’ before but this seemed like the right moment. Besides which with Beelzebub gone this was his chance to rise above mere admin. The Devil, who had had enough micromanaging from the higher-up to know when to let things be, shrugged his conceptual shoulders and drifted off, allowing Béchamel his little project. It would probably just be a small natural disaster.

The first sign was the flag of the Isle of Mann. Obviously nobody was entirely sure why the island had adopted the triskelion in the first place, and appearing as it did in the thirteenth century about seven hundred years before the second sign it gained attention less as a harbinger of doom and more as an aesthetically pleasing symbol which looked good on coasters.

The second sign turned up on the plate of Harvey Johnson, an accountant from Croydon, in 2010. He stumbled down to his kitchen and over to the breadbin, where he had a rummage around. He pulled a croissant out only to let it fall to the floor with a startled ‘what the-’. He looked down. Instead of the two points of the crescent, the offending item had not been rolled properly, and so had a third arm sticking out of its middle. ‘Yeesh.’ He muttered, wondering when he had become so boring as to be alarmed by a dodgy pastry. He took a picture to send to his girlfriend then chucked it in the bin.

‘So…you’ve got the triskelion, the three-armed croissant, and then…’ Beelzebub, back from holiday, looked over Béchamel’s shoulder into the third dimension. 

‘Ah, wait and see, boss! It’ll be spectacular.’ 

‘Yeah, okay. It’s just…look mate, I know how hard you’ve worked on this, but part of the point of coming up with signs is, well, to give the humans a fighting chance, you know? I don’t want to be a downer but-’

‘Wait for it…there!’ Béchamel pointed.

‘I don’t see anything.’

‘It’s the final sign. There.’

‘What am I looking at?’

‘That golf course in Warwickshire.’

‘What about it?’

‘Well, think about it! We’ve got the three-leggy thing.’

‘Triskelion.’

‘Aye, and the three-armed croissant, and then we’ve got _what_ kind of golf course?’

‘Par three… Oh for Satan’s sake.’

‘Exactly! Three signs of three. Three times three makes what?’

‘I…nine?’

‘And what year’s numbers add up to nine?’

‘There’s quite a few, Béchamel…’

‘2016!’

‘...Right.’ Beelzebub kneaded their temples with their claws. ‘And what was your disaster again?’

‘You’ll love this. Donald Trump becomes president!’

‘...The guy from US version of The Apprentice?'

'That's the one.'

'And this is a particular harbinger of doom because...'

'Because no one'll see it coming! Surprise!'

'Okay, I….okay. Look Béchamel, I think we need to have chat about your career trajectory.’


End file.
